H.M. Stoner Ink And Image

When your a parent, it’s pretty typical to base some of your decisions on experiences from your own childhood. So when my husband first suggested that we get a trampoline, I was all for it.

I have many great memories, jumping with my brother, cousins, and even my mom. For the most part, no one ever got injured badly. Except that ONE kid, that ONE time… (I’m so very glad I grew up before lawsuits were a huge thing. My parents could have lost their house in todays world.)

Never the less, having only this one bad memory of a trampoline, I suggested that if we purchase one, we get the kind that has the netting all the way around it. Of corse my thought process was that this would not only improve safety but also elevate any stress that might come associated with a trampoline. OH BOY WAS I WRONG!

Do you have any idea what the netting on a trampoline looks like to a kid ages 9-13?! Let me give you a hint…. “CAN YOU SMELLLLLL…..WHAT THE…..”

Figure it out yet?

Within the first hour of having the thing put up my kids turned into pro wrestlers, using the netting to sling shot themselves into each other in an attempt to knock out their “Opponents”. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? NOOOOO!!!!!!!! I yelled, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!……….. It’s called a SAFTY net! ……….That is NOT the intended use!

The first half of summer was spent repeating these words over and over hoping that they might sink in. Unfortunately, before the summer was even over the netting broke and ultimately became a human death trap that could possible strangle my children if they were caught up in it.

After about a week of “NO JUMPING ALOUD” I finally got out there and cut the netting off completely. The polls however, if I were to remove them, they would leave behind a two foot section that would still protrude above the trampoline jumping area. I quickly decided that it was best to leave them. Having a child em-pail themselves while jumping was NOT what I needed that day.

It didn’t take them long to find a new way to irritate the mess out of me…. this time they would use the poles to swing their bodies out over the edge of the trampoline and land back on the other side, running from poll to poll trying not to crash into each other along the way. Ugh. Are you freaking kidding me. Its a trampoline. Why is that not fun in of itself. When I was a kid, we would play crack the egg, or mirror me, for HOURS!

Never in my wildest dreams could I have predicted that our trampoline would become such a nuisance. It doesn’t stop there! Ive only talked about the issues we have had from the children.

How about the fact that you have to move it every time you mow your yard……or the fact that in the blazing summer sun the black jumping area can be so hot you get blisters on your feet…….oh and THEN there’s the dogs….. they run under it wanting to nip at you when your jumping. Or god forbid they manage to get on top of it and they are to much of a chicken shit to jump back down, so you have a dog, on a trampoline, barking its ass off at 2 o clock in the afternoon, and you have to stop what you are doing to go outside and get him down.

Needless to say, my trampoline expectation could not have been further from the reality of owning one.